In the blink of an eye, another half year has passed. Hopes that once seemed so real have fallen through again. Worse things seem to be looming faintly, like the calm before a storm. I used to think everyone was just a burden, and that I’d be happy and carefree alone.
But the truth is—I couldn’t help but taste the forbidden fruit. I keep recklessly testing the edge of danger.

The startup plan at the beginning of the year has completely fallen through. I placed too much faith in one person’s execution—and maybe I wasn’t determined enough myself either. In any case, relying on others is just too difficult.
Because I could foresee the outcome, I bought another car—as if I’m drifting aimlessly in this chaos, tossing and turning without rest.
Maybe I never had a real goal in life to begin with.

After buying the car, I made a trip back to my hometown and stopped by the ancient city of Langzhong along the way.
This visit didn’t feel like the ones before. I just camped out on the hill behind my house, and the weather was unbearably hot. The rest was just skimming the surface—nothing too meaningful.
It felt like I couldn’t recapture the joy I used to feel when traveling. Everything inside felt calm, maybe even a little empty.





I actually wanted to take a walk around Jianmen Pass, but unfortunately, I couldn’t book a ticket.
I guess I’ll just have to go next time~
Then I finally bought the drone I’d been looking forward to for a long time—it happened to be on sale, so it was a great deal.
After that, I started driving around, flying the drone wherever I could.







After that, I met the second person I’ve truly liked in my life—someone I hope can be my partner for the rest of it.
Our meeting was completely unexpected. We’d actually been friends online for years—I vaguely remember adding them during the pandemic. So getting to know each other now really feels like fate.

There are so many things I want to say, but I don’t know where to start—because today my mood is really bad.
Some things have gone beyond what I can bear, and I don’t know where the road ahead will lead. All I ask for is peace of mind.




As I mentioned before, it feels like I have no pursuits anymore. What should I do? What shouldn’t I do?
Everyone seems to be emphasizing the self — what do I want? What should I be?
I think simply, but the chaos of the world isn’t simple at all.
Ultimately, self-awareness is really important. Maybe that’s why there’s such a huge gap between people nowadays.
Or maybe I’m overthinking it. Loneliness has become the norm, and I’ve forgotten how to communicate and get along with others.
Just thinking about it gives me a headache. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way — letting one thing ruin my mood all day.
Well, that’s just how it is. Maybe in a few months I’ll look back and see that this is human nature. This is life...
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